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 [Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index] Various notes on 12-90
Varios notes on 12-90 (ch. 0 to 2.3):
0. page 26, SSID definition, last sentence should read: 
The TargetPortalGroupTag key is also returned by the target as a
confirmation during session establishment.
Change: may -> is, since it actually is SHOULD or MUST
depending on the capabilites of the target.
1. page 29: 2.2, first paragraph, last sentence should be: iSCSI
   also uses the request-response mechanism for iSCSI protocol
   mechanisms.
Change: missing a hyphen between ``request'' and ``response''.
2. page 29: 2.2, 5th paragraph should read: The iSCSI transfer
   direction is defined with respect to the initiator. Outbound or
   outgoing transfers are transfers from an initiator to a target,
   while inbound or incoming transfers are from a target to an
   initiator.
Changes: regard -> respect, first used in social sciences,
second in technical/mathematical documentation.
Missing an indefinite article a/an before ``target'' and
``initiator''; twice each.
3. page 29: 2.2.1, first item, at the end: possible missing
   conclusion, found only this: ``... parameters (cf. SAM2) to/from
   ->.''
``->.'' should be ``see the next item.'' OR ``the iSCSI layer.''
4. page 31: 2.2.2.1, first change bar: there is an extra ``the''
   before CmdSN.
5. page 31: 2.2.2.1, second change bar: missing comma after
   ``explicit rule''. Also ``(see later in this section)'' should
   probably refer to ``(see CmdSN assignment later in this
   section)'', since the text refers to CmdSN assignment for
   immediate delivery commands.  I.e. the sentence should read:
Whenever CmdSN for an outgoing PDU is not specified by an explicit
rule, CmdSN will carry the current value of the local CmdSN register
(see CmdSN assignment later in this section).
6. page 32: 2.2.2.1: at the top, quoting:
     Beyond the scope of this document is the means by which one may
request immediate delivery for a command ...
But commands can be marked for immediate delivery by setting
I = 1, no? Maybe the first part of this sentence should be clarified.
7. page 33: 2.2.2.1: second paragraph at the top, the first sentence
   should read:
       The target MUST NOT transmit a MaxCmdSN that is less than
       ExpCmdSN-1. That is, the queueing capacity at the target
       should be greater than or equal to 0.
Change: removed ``last'' and added a queue length clarifying
sentence.
8. page 33: 2.2.2.1: middle, the last two items and the conclusion,
   should read:
- If the PDU MaxCmdSN is greater than the local MaxCmdSN (in Serial
  Arithmetic Sense), it updates the local MaxCmdSN; otherwise, it is
  ignored.
- If the PDU ExpCmdSN is greater than the local ExpCmdSN (in Serial
  Arithmetic Sense), it updates the local ExpCmdSN; otherwise, it is
  ignored.
This sequence should be observed because updates may arrive out of
order, being that they travel on different TCP connections.
Change: there is no point in updating a value by another, when
they are equal, i.e. no actual update takes place.
9. page 38: 2.2.4, first sentence of the last paragraph on the page,
   should probably read:
A target SHOULD NOT silently discard data and thus request
retransmission through R2T.
Change: included ``thus'', clarifying the cause-effect relationship.
10. page 41: 2.2.6.1, second item list, item c), last sentence
    should read:
    Whitespace characters are not allowed.
Change: as per NDT. ``be'' -> ``not''.
11. page 48: 2.2.8.2, last paragraph, last sentence is missing a
    period.
-- 
Luben
 
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