Re: iscsi: editorial comments to iSCSI-05

[julian_satran@il.ibm.com]

Fixed  - Thanks, Julo

Matt Wakeley <matt_wakeley@agilent.com> on 09/03/2001 12:50:34

Please respond to Matt Wakeley <matt_wakeley@agilent.com>

To:   IPS Reflector <ips@ece.cmu.edu>
cc:
Subject:  iscsi: editorial comments to iSCSI-05






editorial comments to iSCSI 05:


Global: In 1.2 the iSCSI PDU is defined, yet the phrase "message" is
    used interchangeably with PDU.  Change all occurences of
    "message" to the correct term "PDU", especially fix instances
    of blahblah message.  Also, change "packets" to PDUs.


Global:  "MUST", "SHOULD", etc are sometimes all upper case,
    sometimes lowercase.  Please make them consistent.


Abstract, page 2; 1.2 page 10:
    change: "on top of TCP"
    to: "over TCP".


1.1, middle page 9:
    change: "SCSI is client-server..."
    to: "SCSI is a client-server..."


1.1, bottom page 9:
    change: "Command Descriptor Blocks (CDB) is ..."
    to: "The Command Descriptor Block (CDB) is ..."


1.2.2.1, last paragraph page 12:
    "iSCSI initiators and target ..." add "s" to target.


1.2.3, page 14, last paragraph:
    change: "Any message except login and text reaching a target on
      a TCP connection before the full feature phase MUST be ..."
    to: "... full feature phase is a protocol error (see 6.1) and
      MUST be..."


2.3.2, page 33:
    Include a reference to SAM-2.


2.3.6, page 34:
    Indicate that the "Extended CDB" what's next field must be used.
    Change "48-byte header" to "BHS".


2.4.5, page 37:
    Indicate that sense or response data is "data" and not part
    of the header.


2.7, page 43 and 44:
    Change "SCSI Data packet" to "iSCSI Data PDU"


2.8.3, page 48:
    move 'If the Text Response does not contain a key that was requested,
    the initiator must assume that the key was not understood by the
    target or, whenever appropriate, that the response was "none".'

    to after "Any other key not understood by the target may be ignored
    without affecting basic function."


2.10.1, page 51:
    change "command is performs" to "command performs"
    change "logout is not" to "logout was not"


2.10.6, page 52:
    change "This an" to "This is an".


2.11.3, page 54:
    The sentance "If the login phase involves two login responses
    then each of them will hold for the subsequent responses." does
    not make sense to me.


2.12.2, page 58:
    change "only if it issued" to "only if it is issued"


2.14.1, page 61:
    do you mean "close session" instead of "close connection"?


2.15, page 63:
    change "for the failed connection" to simply "for the connection".


2.16.4, page 65:
    change "additional missed" to "additional sequential missed".


2.17, page 66:
    "The last PDU should have the F bit set to 1".  Shouldn't this
    be "must have the F bit set to 1"?


2.17, page 66:
    change: "The target may send several R2T PDUs and..." to
    to: The target may send several R2T PDUs (if negotiated) and..."


2.18, page 68:
    change: "the target specifies the status for..."
    to: "the target specifies the status and reason for..."

2.18.1, page 69:
    change: "the codes returned for..."
    to: "the codes sent for..."  (and event is not "returned")


2.20, page 71:
    change "inexistent" to "non-existent"


6.1, page 80:
    change "format errors" to "protocol errors".


7.2, page 86:
    change "ACA helps preserving" to "ACA helps preserve"


8, page 87:
    The first paragraph says "iSCSI implementations MUST provide..."
    and the second says "should be provided".  Make these consistent.